The player is loading ...
May 14, 2024
#13: Andrew "Cotty" Cotton (Big Wave Surfer) - Riding the Highs and Lows of Surfing and Fatherhood
Imagine straddling the line between the ferocious power of the ocean's biggest waves and the gentle, yet perpetual, tug of fatherhood. This episode takes you on an epic journey with Andrew Cotton, a titan of big wave surfing, as he shares the deeply personal narrative of his life's adventures and tribulations. From his humble beginnings in North Devon to the breath-taking swells of Nazaré, we traverse Cotty's path to a professional surfing career, his friendship and collaboration with surfing legend Garrett McNamara, and the indelible mark of fatherhood that propels his every move.
This compelling conversation reveals the intricacies of balancing a life chasing thrills with the grounding force of family. We peel back the layers of Andrew's career highs and lows, including his daunting recovery from a devastating back injury and the emotional resilience required to navigate personal hardships like divorce. Listen as Cotty offers a masterclass in adaptability and determination, discussing the pressures of aligning family moments with the capricious nature of professional surfing and how these challenges are emblematic of a universal struggle faced by many.
As we wrap up, Andrew Cotton's insights transform this discussion into a profound reflection on humility, the psychological hurdles of an athlete's journey, and the fine line between pushing one's children in sports and letting them find their own way. It's a story that transcends surfing, touching on the heart of what it means to relentlessly pursue one's passions while maintaining the delicate balance that family life demands. Tune in for an episode that promises to stir the soul and inspire the brave pursuit of dreams amidst life's ebb and flow.
The Athlete Dad Resources:
Chapters
00:01 - Balancing Fatherhood and Big Wave Surfing
09:36 - Balancing Career and Family Life
17:44 - Balancing Work and Family Life
27:20 - Serious Surfing Accident and Recovery
30:45 - Overcoming Adversity as a Professional Athlete
34:26 - Navigating Parenting and Kids' Sports
43:25 - Lessons and Appreciation in Conversation
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:01.903 --> 00:00:09.983
Nazarene 2017, and it was one of the biggest swells of the year and, well, actually one of the biggest swells you've had in a long time.
00:00:09.983 --> 00:00:25.530
It was one of those like all-or-nothing sort of days for me, and I put it on the line, committed quite heavily to a wave and the way I read the wave was just wrong, paid the price for that, you know, and I fell.
00:00:25.530 --> 00:00:37.826
The wave hit me so hard it sort of basically just crushed me, and then you have to go through the whole whole situation, dealing with, like other waves and jet ski rides, and I was fortunate to get to the beach.
00:00:37.826 --> 00:00:47.694
I basically just told the boys that I'm pretty sure I broke my back and, for the life of me, I couldn't even put a foot on the floor.
00:00:47.694 --> 00:00:50.268
Shit, this is pretty fucking serious.
00:00:56.401 --> 00:01:07.082
Welcome to the Athlete Dad Podcast, where we explore the intersection of physical pursuits and fatherhood, of physical pursuits and fatherhood.
00:01:07.082 --> 00:01:13.887
I'm your host, ben Gibson, and each episode we'll dive deep into topics like modeling, ambition, achieving balance and intentional integration around athletic passions and parenting.
00:01:13.887 --> 00:01:20.930
If you're seeking to accomplish your goals as an athlete while crushing it as a parent, then you've come to the right place.
00:01:20.930 --> 00:01:29.680
Come to the right place.
00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:30.141
What's up everyone?
00:01:30.141 --> 00:01:32.787
We are back with an exciting conversation with Mr Andrew Cotton, known by most simply as Cotty.
00:01:32.787 --> 00:01:35.632
Cotty is a professional big wave surfer.
00:01:35.632 --> 00:01:40.292
He is also the co-star of HBO's series 100 Foot Wave.
00:01:40.774 --> 00:01:45.668
If that sounds familiar, you may remember Garrett McNamara joining us on the podcast on episode nine.
00:01:45.668 --> 00:01:55.953
We had the pleasure of meeting Andrew through Garrett and I can remember watching 100 Foot Wave and seeing Andrew and just really falling in love with his story.
00:01:55.953 --> 00:02:05.489
Andrew's story is one about dreaming, about self-belief, about perseverance, even in the face of some seemingly insurmountable challenges.
00:02:05.489 --> 00:02:06.802
I mean even just growing up.
00:02:06.802 --> 00:02:19.282
Where he grew up in North Devon in the UK, he did not have a straight path to the life of a pro surfer and yet once he got on a board as a kid, he immediately knew that, no matter what it would take.
00:02:19.282 --> 00:02:43.048
He was going to find a way to surf as his career and find a way he did, and in our conversation you'll hear all about Andrew's rise through the surf scene, bouncing between jobs like being a plumber, until what most would deem the end of their careers, when Cotty was able to link up with Garrett McNamara to surf some of the biggest waves on earth at Nazare, portugal.
00:02:43.830 --> 00:02:56.637
How do you balance being a father when you have an unpredictable travel schedule taking you all over the world with two kids at home and you want to be an amazing father but also continue to pursue your dreams as a professional surfer?
00:02:57.299 --> 00:03:09.836
It's pretty tough, and so we talk about how Andrew thinks about balancing fatherhood with that often unpredictable travel schedule and this idea about investing in your kids when you are home to try to offset when you're away.
00:03:09.836 --> 00:03:18.304
He also talks about the challenges of co-parenting after a divorce and how to turn a negative situation like a divorce into something very positive.
00:03:18.304 --> 00:03:49.966
There's this great theme amongst the surfers we've had on the show, and that's that they've all been extremely intentional about designing the life that they wanted for themselves and for their families, and they worked for decades to overcome huge obstacles to realize those dreams, and I think that there are not just so many lessons in this conversation around balance and lifestyle design and pursuing your dreams, but really the challenges that need to be overcome to manifest that for yourself.
00:03:49.966 --> 00:03:57.021
So, without further ado, please enjoy my conversation with Mr Andrew Cotton.
00:03:57.021 --> 00:04:09.526
Andrew, thanks so much for taking time out of your travels, out of your week, to have this conversation around athlete dad life, so I really appreciate you being here.
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:11.828
Thanks for having me and giving me the opportunity to chat.
00:04:12.099 --> 00:04:18.413
I know we met through our friend Garrett and you know I know many folks are familiar with your story, a bit from 100 for a Wave.
00:04:18.413 --> 00:04:24.050
But you know, help us understand a bit more about what does life look like for you as dad?
00:04:24.050 --> 00:04:30.632
And then what does life look like for you as athlete in the really the two different worlds that you're navigating right now.
00:04:31.221 --> 00:04:34.766
I got divorced in like 2019.
00:04:34.766 --> 00:04:51.588
So my life changed very differently then, whereas I felt like I was spending a lot more time at home when I was married, and now, like with obviously separation and then in COVID, I started spending definitely a lot more time abroad.
00:04:51.588 --> 00:04:54.276
I've got two children.
00:04:54.276 --> 00:04:57.562
I've got a honey, who's 16.
00:04:57.562 --> 00:04:59.607
She's my stepdaughter.
00:04:59.607 --> 00:05:02.672
You know been her dad since she was three.
00:05:02.672 --> 00:05:04.355
And then I have Ace.
00:05:04.355 --> 00:05:08.641
You know being her dad since I was.
00:05:08.641 --> 00:05:09.605
She was three, and then I have Ace, who's 11.
00:05:09.605 --> 00:05:18.891
As I am, yeah, moving to my 40s, trying to like really make the most of my career, you know, always focusing on riding the biggest waves, um, in the best locations, and focusing on my performance as an athlete.
00:05:18.891 --> 00:05:36.115
I've had some pretty bad injuries over the years, as, as any professional athlete um has or, you know, gets, and it's just trying to like manage those and and still compete with the youngsters really yeah, they seem to be just getting younger and younger and doing more crazy stuff.
00:05:36.216 --> 00:05:41.666
I mean, even just in the time you've been at nazare, it went from just like can we catch these waves and ride them?
00:05:41.666 --> 00:05:46.934
To then guys like kai doing aerials off of these waves.
00:05:46.934 --> 00:05:50.168
It's quite a dramatic shift yes, it's the.
00:05:50.228 --> 00:06:08.706
The landscape is moving very quickly and I feel like, especially like the big wave scene, that these other sort of um sports and kite sports and wind sports and windsurfing is all having like, uh, influence on actual surfing itself, which is, I feel it's taking that performance level to the next level.
00:06:08.766 --> 00:06:28.514
You know, whereas for me, like I've always been a surfer and focused on surfing and, and then big wave was just like an opportunity that came my way, um, which something was like really enjoying and I love pushing and but it's great to see, you know, like in a professional career, that we thought that we'd stop winding it down like in our 30s.
00:06:28.514 --> 00:06:29.997
I didn't sign a.
00:06:29.997 --> 00:06:44.725
My first contract was when I was like 34, 35, so it's kind of like late into the game, um, so I just feel it's like an opportunity and I'm like I'm like like every, yeah, every moment of the minute it's like well, how can I, how can I get better?
00:06:44.725 --> 00:06:45.148
How can I get fitter?
00:06:45.148 --> 00:06:46.053
How can it's like well, how can I get better?
00:06:46.053 --> 00:06:46.798
How can I get fitter?
00:06:46.798 --> 00:06:48.586
How can I work my injuries?
00:06:48.586 --> 00:06:57.595
How can I outperform these guys, these younger kids that are coming through and still keep pushing it?
00:06:58.247 --> 00:06:59.040
Yeah, that's interesting.
00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:07.598
The evolution of the sport really requires an evolution in how you, as an athlete, approach even just competing in it.
00:07:07.598 --> 00:07:25.367
You know how do you bring in different dynamics from different disciplines and apply it in the same way, and I think it's it's also for me as a I'm 35, it's reassuring to hear that you know you didn't get your first contract till you were 34 and that there's still a lot, of, a lot of work to be done as an athlete.
00:07:25.367 --> 00:07:27.053
Uh, well, into our 40s.
00:07:27.053 --> 00:07:28.218
Because I I do agree.
00:07:28.218 --> 00:07:32.850
Like you know, when you're 20s you're like, yeah, I'll wrap this up by 35 and that's pretty much it.
00:07:32.850 --> 00:07:43.492
I'll be in, you know, I'll be in a wheelchair by 40, and you know it's, it's it's reassuring to hear, for sure and hanging out, but I just sometimes like I'm getting these opportunities now.
00:07:43.713 --> 00:07:54.184
So I'm thinking like no way, like if I had this in my 20s or when I was like I left school at like 16 and the dream was always to be a professional surfer, but I just never.
00:07:54.184 --> 00:07:56.850
Like I never really came my way, which was never a problem.
00:07:56.850 --> 00:08:06.661
Like I worked and did various jobs in the surf industry and but like I'm always thinking shit, if I really knew what I know now, like how it could have been different.
00:08:06.661 --> 00:08:13.043
But things all happen for a reason and, um, you know, I feel like I'm like really really in a good place.
00:08:13.043 --> 00:08:15.048
I'm really really fortunate that's awesome, man.
00:08:15.470 --> 00:08:18.184
You know I want to talk about you pursuing your dreams.
00:08:18.184 --> 00:08:20.369
You pursuing your goal as a professional surfer.
00:08:20.369 --> 00:08:38.721
Um, you know, I know it hasn't always been easy and it's been a very long journey and there's a lot of ups and downs, as you mentioned, injuries and obviously with competition, and you're relying on a sport that is dependent upon nature providing the right conditions, and you have to travel all over the world.
00:08:38.721 --> 00:08:57.493
You know there's a lot that goes into pursuing your dreams, but, you know, one of the things I really believe in is that, like one there's it's important to do so because of that personal fulfillment aspect of it, and like that's what we're here to do in life is to pursue the things that light us up, that that we're passionate about.
00:08:57.493 --> 00:09:00.789
But then you start shifting to being a dad.
00:09:00.789 --> 00:09:14.004
Being a dad and I think there's this whole other side of that pursuing ambition, modeling ambition piece that almost becomes like a responsibility as a dad to show our kids how they should go about navigating the world, like what is?
00:09:14.044 --> 00:09:26.365
pursuing your goals meant for you now as a dad, as you think about showing your kids that of like, go pursue your dreams, go do these things like that, do you feel like it has a bit more meaning to it for you now?
00:09:27.628 --> 00:09:27.788
it's.
00:09:27.788 --> 00:09:28.350
That's you know.
00:09:28.350 --> 00:09:36.643
It's really funny, I think, if you, depending on who you speak to, you always get different opinions on on this and I and I do struggle navigating it.
00:09:36.643 --> 00:09:47.561
I feel like in the beginning, having um, honey and ace, it was like okay, right now, now I have to make this a career, otherwise it just has to be a hobby.
00:09:47.561 --> 00:09:50.649
So it's almost like the motivation it was like.
00:09:50.649 --> 00:10:08.035
I can actually remember like ace came along and it was like, okay, like I've really got to sort it out, I've really got to make this, monetize this, and like this either has to be a job or it has to be okay, like I do it, maybe every now and then at a weekend.
00:10:08.035 --> 00:10:16.885
So it really helped me professionalize my goals, I suppose, and professionalize what I was doing and motivate me as well.
00:10:16.885 --> 00:10:23.847
I was like, yeah, I just wanted to achieve something to prove that I could do it, and I think that was a real motivation for me.
00:10:24.741 --> 00:10:27.571
I had a big injury in 2017.
00:10:27.571 --> 00:10:30.182
I was doing a lot of traveling, but only in Europe.
00:10:30.182 --> 00:10:46.441
Through those younger years when I had ACE, I was almost like in 2017, after my my, I broke my back and I was kind of like on the edge of like hanging up, like, okay, right, yeah, I kind of done, I'm happy to stay at home.
00:10:46.441 --> 00:10:52.493
And then my, my, my marriage sort of fell apart and and it actually released a new set of ambitions for me.
00:10:52.493 --> 00:10:54.283
Really, like I was struggling with it.
00:10:54.283 --> 00:11:03.168
Okay, I'm 40 now, I'm a single and I was looking around at where I live at home and I was like I just I don't want to be here.
00:11:03.168 --> 00:11:18.041
You know, like I don't want to be living in in this village and in devon, and it just sort of motivated me to get fit, uh, get stronger, set new goals, you know, look for new partners and brands to work with, and yeah, and just go after it even harder.
00:11:18.581 --> 00:11:45.567
Um, and and all of that sort of was happening, just as the time that the HBO stuff was sort of coming out, which really gave me an extra push with exposure wise as well, and it is also motivational like having a film crew there filming what you're doing and where you're going, and you know the sessions that you're doing, and so it all sort of really, you know, you know, came together, which is kind of a surprise.
00:11:45.567 --> 00:11:50.254
You know, like I didn't, I didn't really think that I'll be going as hard.
00:11:50.254 --> 00:12:06.701
You know this, this further into my you know, like into my 40s, I don't think I'll be pushing it as hard, but but yeah, it's exciting, it's been exciting yeah, I mean kudos to you for taking a situation that was difficult and a down moment and really turning it into a positive Like.
00:12:07.303 --> 00:12:25.349
I think in a lot of those ways that's where I think athletics and physical pursuits are so important, because it can one give you something to anchor on of like, okay, I've got, you know, I've got this goal that is well within my control as much as anything can be right, but that I can put energy and and focus into.
00:12:25.349 --> 00:12:27.203
That's going to have a really positive outcome.
00:12:27.203 --> 00:12:29.509
And yeah, and it's it's.
00:12:29.509 --> 00:12:38.044
It's cool to hear that you know really unleashed new motivation, new goals for you to get back and grind and and make the most of it.
00:12:38.967 --> 00:12:46.532
Yeah, because, like you know, having having like a young family definitely changed my direction a little bit.
00:12:46.532 --> 00:12:50.591
You make decisions and you think, could it have all been different?
00:12:50.591 --> 00:13:01.013
In fact, it was like, no, everything's just right, this is all perfect, and having Ace and Honey were the main motivations to make everything more professional.
00:13:01.013 --> 00:13:05.441
And just because I'm not with my mom anymore, like it doesn't make any difference.
00:13:05.441 --> 00:13:23.546
You know, like I can still be a great dad, but I can actually show them that, that you know that when they're teenagers, you know like they can say, yeah, their dads, their stats, they're still going hard in the ocean, you know, and I was still still trying to pretend he's 21, but yeah that's awesome.
00:13:23.605 --> 00:13:26.413
Yeah, hey, I mean that's that's the way to live, right?
00:13:26.413 --> 00:13:38.063
Is uh is showing them that, like, dude, I'm going to run this thing until the wheels come off, like I'm going to do everything I can and, and you know you're setting yourself up for whatever that that next phase of life looks like.
00:13:38.063 --> 00:13:45.134
Right, it's like there's always going to be something next, you know, once the career is done, you know, and the work you're putting in now I'm sure is teeing that up.
00:13:45.134 --> 00:13:47.438
But yeah, I mean, I like what you said about the.
00:13:47.918 --> 00:13:50.626
You know, having a young family really shifted things professionally.
00:13:50.626 --> 00:14:11.629
You know I was talking with another dad and you know he was saying he felt a lot of anxiety because a lot of his competitors were like single dudes that all they had to do was basically be an athlete and train and travel, and so it really did ramp up the way that he was focused on training, because he's like I only have this window, I have to make it the best possible training.
00:14:11.629 --> 00:14:16.070
Like, how did that shift for you in terms of what did that professionalism look like?
00:14:16.070 --> 00:14:17.847
Like, were you more organized?
00:14:17.847 --> 00:14:19.225
Was there just more preparation?
00:14:19.899 --> 00:14:26.431
Yeah, you know, like it definitely did affect the amount of time I spent abroad and surf about 100%.
00:14:26.431 --> 00:14:30.908
It did affect that, but it also made you make the most of when you did go surfing.
00:14:30.908 --> 00:14:36.410
I remember a couple of friends saying now you're going to be a dad, it's probably time to wind it down.
00:14:36.410 --> 00:14:51.028
It was funny that the pressure was from more friends and maybe family members saying, okay, well, now you're a dad, now you've got like kids, maybe, just like you know, think about full-time plumbing career and forget about surfing.
00:14:51.028 --> 00:14:53.970
And so I felt like that was more external pressure.
00:14:53.970 --> 00:15:09.961
You know those people weren't being mean or trying to crush a dream, it was just, you know, like, the way that they were thinking about things or you know, just like, okay, well, that also motivated me to think, well, no, actually, no, like that's maybe what you want to do, but I don't want to give up on this yet.
00:15:09.961 --> 00:15:11.544
You know like I still felt good.
00:15:11.544 --> 00:15:18.128
You know, I still felt like I had stuff to achieve and and was capable of doing that that resonates so much.
00:15:18.268 --> 00:15:23.303
I mean, when I had my first son too, I, I, I think I felt it more internal.
00:15:23.303 --> 00:15:28.251
I guess it was just know from years of absorbing society's messaging.
00:15:28.251 --> 00:15:30.985
And you know, I was like, damn, am I done?
00:15:30.985 --> 00:15:32.365
Am I done climbing mountains?
00:15:32.365 --> 00:15:35.590
Like, am I done doing somewhat risky endeavors?
00:15:35.590 --> 00:15:40.471
Like, or do I just have to adjust the way that I approach it?
00:15:40.471 --> 00:15:43.764
Kind of like what you're thinking about of like risk and taking care of my body.
00:15:43.764 --> 00:15:49.134
But then, yeah, I love your point of like well, no, that's just how you chose to live your life.
00:15:49.134 --> 00:16:03.043
And like there's a reason that you, as Andrew, are flying all over the world to get to surf the biggest waves is because you're willing to take the risk, you know, and make the sacrifices to get to go do those things.
00:16:03.043 --> 00:16:08.467
And that was a big shift for me of like, no, like realizing, like, is that what I want my kids to do?
00:16:08.467 --> 00:16:14.024
It's like well, when you came along, dad gave up all his dreams and just cashed it in.
00:16:15.299 --> 00:16:17.327
Yeah, but then that turns into a later time.
00:16:17.327 --> 00:16:18.640
It all turned into resentment.
00:16:18.640 --> 00:16:19.961
I guess you know, or could do.
00:16:19.961 --> 00:16:36.015
You know, like, and it's maybe not in the younger years, but maybe more as you know, like you know in your 40s or 50s, when the kids start leaving home, you're like actually, you know, like I still feel like I'm able-bodied, but I gave up my career when I was 30,.
00:16:36.275 --> 00:16:37.317
you know, like Right.
00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:42.929
And I could have, and I think I didn't want to be, you know like.
00:16:42.929 --> 00:16:44.774
You know that I could have done this, you know, but want to be, you know like.
00:16:44.774 --> 00:16:46.460
You know that I could have done this, you know, but.
00:16:46.460 --> 00:16:49.291
But life happened, you know like, and I had to give up.
00:16:49.772 --> 00:16:51.759
Yeah, it's like we have to give up something.
00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:55.958
I guess it's like give up, or I think it more of like uh, we've got to sacrifice something.
00:16:55.958 --> 00:16:58.086
Right, there's of course, the sacrifices.
00:16:58.547 --> 00:17:03.503
You know, I, I know full well like it has a strain and effect on relationships.
00:17:03.503 --> 00:17:08.289
You know, especially, especially with your partners, and at first we traveled a lot together as a family.
00:17:08.289 --> 00:17:20.207
Obviously, when the kids start to go to school and then it's like suddenly not as fun, you know, like dad's not here as much or dad's just nipped off and he can't do the school run, and then it becomes a little bit harder.
00:17:20.207 --> 00:17:33.693
First and foremost, you know they've always been priority for me and I know, like, as any athlete will say, you know we don't have, I don't have a schedule, so it's kind of hard to plan around and I think that's the most taxing thing.
00:17:33.693 --> 00:17:44.224
Like if I I think if we could go at the beginning of the year and just hand that the fixture list over to your partner and say, oh, this is what my whole plan is this year, it would have been be a lot easier.
00:17:44.224 --> 00:17:44.865
But it's not.
00:17:44.905 --> 00:18:10.240
You know, and and and that's just the nature of big wave surfing and what I do and and the kids, they love that sort of, you know, that adventure and and like the time I do spend with them, like we have the best adventures and I think that quality time for me is like it's been amazing, you know, like the the trips that I've done with Honey and Ace and in the last couple of years, like as Honey's got a bit older, she's been less keen to like down things.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:24.319
She wants to hang out with her friends, but Ace is still totally up for it and he started snowboarding and he's interested into surfing and into soccer and different sports and yeah, we've had some really really good adventures together, you know.
00:18:25.342 --> 00:18:36.551
Yeah, it's hard with the no schedule, but also there's really no blueprint for how you and your whole life show up like this, like there's very few people to model after of.
00:18:36.551 --> 00:18:37.519
Like, how do I do this?
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:58.792
How do I manage the schedule, manage the kids, deal with all the ambiguity and the chaos, um, and so actually one of the things I was curious about was around this idea of you know, knowing that you're gone and traveling, yeah, how do you think about either catching up or making up or being really present when you are back home, or including them in those in those travels?
00:18:59.134 --> 00:19:14.384
like when I was away, I was working, surfing, and when I was home, like I was always around to do the school, the school pickups, the you know, the drop-offs, the clubs, and to spend quality time also is like, it's like being self-employed.
00:19:14.384 --> 00:19:33.453
The thing that I often found myself getting sucked into is like you're trying to do the school run and and do the clubs, but you're also trying to like, reply to emails and do your social media and, you know, do your sponsor obligations and and also look at the, the charts and plan your next trip and and who you're filming with and what projects you're doing.
00:19:33.453 --> 00:19:38.778
So it it has always been a juggling act, but it is trying to keep those times.
00:19:38.778 --> 00:19:42.500
Quality Okay, right, I can do quality work time and then quality family time.
00:19:42.990 --> 00:19:46.560
I've always found myself going in and out of those things.
00:19:46.560 --> 00:20:00.443
Sometimes I get up to the tea and I feel quite proud of myself, and other times I find myself slipping back into that where you're trying to reply to emails when you should be really just, you know, sitting at the dinner table.
00:20:00.443 --> 00:20:03.676
You know like and being and being present.
00:20:03.676 --> 00:20:03.998
You know.
00:20:03.998 --> 00:20:37.736
If you can master that, I think you, you, you set yourself up for a far easier life and and relationships as well, and I think that is the key, because it is about having really good relationships with your partner and your kids, and I think that's the key learn how to do those things like how much has that been the case for you?
00:20:37.756 --> 00:20:40.684
like, have there been times where things really came to a head and you found yourself being like man?
00:20:40.724 --> 00:20:48.434
I've really got to learn this lesson or it's going to cost me totally all the time and and I'm still learning and I'm still going through that it's about rhythms.
00:20:48.434 --> 00:20:58.242
For me, like you get into a really good rhythm and you feel like you're doing really well and then all of a sudden, before you know it, you've fallen back into old habits or bad habits of things that have just haven't worked.
00:20:58.242 --> 00:21:10.574
You know like either they stress you out and you feel like there's too much going on, you feel like you're committing to too much, too many things and you're juggling, like the children and the family time, and but that's, that's continuous.
00:21:10.574 --> 00:21:20.949
What we tell ourselves is is because we're trying to do our passion or a goal, that we're in the wrong, or that I'm in the wrong, and it's like actually, well, do you know what?
00:21:20.949 --> 00:21:27.391
Even if I had a normal job, like if I had my own plumbing business, it would be exactly the same.
00:21:27.391 --> 00:21:38.711
You know you still have pressures of, like replying to inquiries or keep it on top of the invoices or all these things, and you'll still be doing the same.
00:21:39.010 --> 00:21:51.363
So I think that I think the fact that you're doing what you love doing and you are managing to put food on the table and you are managing to achieve a personal goal and to live your dream.
00:21:51.363 --> 00:21:54.919
That comes with a little bit of guilt, which which really it shouldn't do.
00:21:54.919 --> 00:21:56.391
You know like it shouldn't do.
00:21:56.391 --> 00:21:57.934
Why, why should that come with guilt?
00:21:57.934 --> 00:22:00.711
You know, like that guilt is sometimes hard to manage.
00:22:00.711 --> 00:22:09.698
And I speak to some of my friends who you know they have great jobs at home and but they're exactly the same, like they're balancing all these things work.
00:22:09.778 --> 00:22:22.238
You know all these things and, and I think everyone is struggling to manage those times that that's an interesting point of like yeah, like the guilt coming from the fact that you just happen to love what you do.
00:22:22.238 --> 00:22:27.450
It's like, yeah, if you were like an accountant, like would you feel less guilty?
00:22:27.450 --> 00:22:30.780
Or like what if you were just super pumped on accounting?
00:22:30.780 --> 00:22:35.582
And you're like, fuck, I feel guilty because I really love accounting and spreadsheets.
00:22:35.582 --> 00:22:46.242
But like you know, like it is, yeah, I think people's perceptions is like you know, you're out there just playing and they don't see all that goes into everything that you do, of like the business side of it.
00:22:46.242 --> 00:22:51.577
And then you're like, oh yeah, I actually have to go train and surf too so that I can keep doing all this stuff.
00:22:51.577 --> 00:22:55.163
And then I'm gone, which is hard, but the guilt is real man.
00:22:55.443 --> 00:22:58.556
I suppose my, my business is a small cottage.
00:22:58.556 --> 00:23:05.636
You know, like I'm very small, I'm a one-man band, like I don't have a management team or anyone doing my social media, I'm doing everything myself.
00:23:05.636 --> 00:23:13.221
Okay, so not only do I have to run my small business, I also have to surf, which is the key, the main part of the job.
00:23:13.221 --> 00:23:15.795
But then train, keep fit, and it is.
00:23:15.795 --> 00:23:21.078
It's super hard to find time in the day and you know like I'm so fortunate, but it is.
00:23:21.078 --> 00:23:26.746
It is a full balancing act and and there is a lot of guilt that I, dude, I have that, the internal I mean I've.
00:23:26.926 --> 00:23:27.911
I have two kinds of guilt.
00:23:27.911 --> 00:23:33.972
I guess is like normal dad guilt of, like you know, I'm laying in bed, of like, ah, I kind of I lost my shit today.
00:23:33.972 --> 00:23:38.378
You know I I should have been more calm, I should have been more patient, or I didn't get enough time.
00:23:38.378 --> 00:23:44.857
And then there's the other guilt of, yeah, like being away and pursuing the things I want to pursue, or even just traveling for work.
00:23:44.970 --> 00:24:06.593
But I remember this moment with my oldest son, I was going to climb in Alaska this last June and you know, we just we're trying to talk about the importance of it and like this is kind of a big deal and dad's going to be like you can only reach me via satellite phone and even then it's only via text message, so you're only going to get to talk to dad through mom reading text messages.
00:24:07.253 --> 00:24:09.336
And I found this out after the words.
00:24:09.336 --> 00:24:14.303
But my oldest son went to my wife and goes is dad going to die on this trip?
00:24:14.303 --> 00:24:30.115
And I was like, oh, dude, like I'm so sorry that, like that was a thing that I put on you that you even had to consider, because I'm just like gone doing my thing that I love, but like, yeah, that just like feeling so torn in two places.
00:24:30.115 --> 00:24:35.755
And you know, my wife was like I didn't want to tell you that before you left, but like afterwards I thought it was important for you to know that.
00:24:35.755 --> 00:24:40.280
And it was like I didn't want to tell you that before you left, but like afterwards I thought it was important for you to know that.
00:24:40.300 --> 00:24:46.369
And it's like, man, that I don't know that that guilt ever goes away Like managing that, I think, is like a constant ordeal for us.
00:24:46.369 --> 00:24:55.140
Yeah, I can remember coming home when I sort of broke my back and I'd spoken to Ace on the phone and sort of said, oh look, I've broken my back.
00:24:55.140 --> 00:24:56.566
And obviously he'd gone to school and said, oh, my dad's broken his back.
00:24:56.566 --> 00:24:57.730
And I think maybe someone had just said, oh, so what is it?
00:24:57.730 --> 00:24:59.036
You know, is your dad in the wheelchair now?
00:24:59.036 --> 00:25:01.659
You know, like he didn't think that I would get better.
00:25:01.659 --> 00:25:04.589
I had back-to-back quite serious injuries.
00:25:04.589 --> 00:25:07.577
I had a compression fracture in my L2 in my back.
00:25:07.577 --> 00:25:18.074
That was out of action and I think the hardest thing for.
00:25:18.094 --> 00:25:32.116
Both of the kids, but maybe more for ace, who's a bit younger, was I couldn't really play with him, you know, like, like in the things that he wanted to do, which was like football and skateboarding at the time, and I was only surfing again for like two months and then I ruptured all the ligaments in my knee and then I was out of action for another like six to eight months.
00:25:32.116 --> 00:25:48.083
So for two years ace saw me on crutches and either bedridden or not being able to do the things that that we wanted to do or he wanted to do with me, and you sort of think my guilt with him was like I hope I just not putting him off sports.
00:25:48.083 --> 00:26:04.078
You know, like dad's always injured, like he goes away and comes back either on crutches or in, like his leg and plaster, you know, like it was just like anything can happen in life, you know, and it does, you know, to millions of people.
00:26:04.078 --> 00:26:04.981
You know every day.
00:26:06.171 --> 00:26:15.917
It's hard too, I think, because you know, for kids dad is Superman, so you're like man Superman's going out and breaking his back, and this is like it's probably hard for the kids.
00:26:17.893 --> 00:26:18.596
He's just at home.
00:26:18.596 --> 00:26:24.423
He's always injured and he's always like either like lying on the sofa or hobbling around on crutches.
00:26:24.423 --> 00:26:42.059
So, you know and yeah, and obviously like his friends, especially like the bat thing was quite widespread on the telly and like quite so I think at school like he was getting probably a few more comments than any he would have usually got.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:47.851
you know, especially we were not because I wanted him on me like you know, I think when kids are young like that, context is maybe missing.
00:26:47.851 --> 00:26:53.353
But but I'm curious about that specific incident, you know, as I remember learning about it, reading about it, you know.
00:26:53.353 --> 00:27:07.238
Walk us through that moment of what happened when you broke your back, because I think it's one thing to break your back on land, but to break your back in the ocean, at a place like Nazare, that had to be terrifying.
00:27:07.238 --> 00:27:08.594
So walk us through that moment.
00:27:08.594 --> 00:27:11.675
Where were you, what was happening and how did it go down?
00:27:12.069 --> 00:27:15.019
So, yeah, it was just Nazare in 2017.
00:27:15.019 --> 00:27:20.219
And it was one of the biggest swells of the year Well, actually, one of the biggest swells I've had in a long time.
00:27:20.219 --> 00:27:23.479
It was one of those like all or nothing sort of days for me.
00:27:23.479 --> 00:27:30.311
And I put it on the line, committed quite heavily to a wave, and the way I read the wave was just wrong.
00:27:30.311 --> 00:27:34.494
You know, when we look at the wave, it's like I definitely surf it different.
00:27:34.494 --> 00:27:36.556
Now I paid the price for that.
00:27:36.556 --> 00:27:41.420
I fell and the wave hit me so hard it basically just crushed me.
00:27:41.420 --> 00:27:45.682
I knew instantly that I'd done some serious damage.
00:27:45.682 --> 00:27:49.965
The impact was on a different level.
00:27:49.965 --> 00:27:58.958
Then you have to go through the whole situation, dealing with other waves and jet ski rides.
00:27:58.958 --> 00:27:59.800
I was fortunate to get to the beach.
00:27:59.800 --> 00:28:03.193
Um, I never at any point thought I was going to drown or I was just in a lot of pain, you know.
00:28:03.193 --> 00:28:21.099
And I did get to the beach and from that second it was all handled very, very professionally and very quick and, um, you know, like I've been a lifeguard for for seven or eight years in the uk and I basically just told the boys that I was pretty sure I'd broken my back and they just did a classic spinal takedown and that was it.
00:28:22.112 --> 00:28:26.001
I was in the hospital within an hour, I think, once I got to the beach.
00:28:26.001 --> 00:28:27.696
There was a bit of a language problem.
00:28:27.696 --> 00:28:31.781
Obviously, we were in Portugal and I speak no Portuguese.
00:28:31.781 --> 00:28:37.615
It wasn't until probably like 48 hours later and I hadn't even stood up.
00:28:37.615 --> 00:28:38.835
I'd been lying down the whole time.
00:28:38.835 --> 00:28:41.358
I hadn't even like try to sit up or anything like that, like I just couldn't do that.
00:28:41.358 --> 00:28:45.798
And the nurse came in and was like okay, we're going to try and get you to stand up today.
00:28:45.798 --> 00:28:50.340
And they put this like body brace on me to sort of take the weight of my spine.
00:28:50.340 --> 00:28:57.092
And they did all this body brace up, this body brace up, and actually Garrett was there.
00:00:01.903 --> 00:00:09.983
00:00:09.983 --> 00:00:25.530
00:00:25.530 --> 00:00:37.826
00:00:37.826 --> 00:00:47.694
00:00:47.694 --> 00:00:50.268
00:00:56.401 --> 00:01:07.082
00:01:07.082 --> 00:01:13.887
00:01:13.887 --> 00:01:20.930
00:01:20.930 --> 00:01:29.680
00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:30.141
00:01:30.141 --> 00:01:32.787
00:01:32.787 --> 00:01:35.632
00:01:35.632 --> 00:01:40.292
00:01:40.774 --> 00:01:45.668
00:01:45.668 --> 00:01:55.953
00:01:55.953 --> 00:02:05.489
00:02:05.489 --> 00:02:06.802
00:02:06.802 --> 00:02:19.282
00:02:19.282 --> 00:02:43.048
00:02:43.830 --> 00:02:56.637
00:02:57.299 --> 00:03:09.836
00:03:09.836 --> 00:03:18.304
00:03:18.304 --> 00:03:49.966
00:03:49.966 --> 00:03:57.021
00:03:57.021 --> 00:04:09.526
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:11.828
00:04:12.099 --> 00:04:18.413
00:04:18.413 --> 00:04:24.050
00:04:24.050 --> 00:04:30.632
00:04:31.221 --> 00:04:34.766
00:04:34.766 --> 00:04:51.588
00:04:51.588 --> 00:04:54.276
00:04:54.276 --> 00:04:57.562
00:04:57.562 --> 00:04:59.607
00:04:59.607 --> 00:05:02.672
00:05:02.672 --> 00:05:04.355
00:05:04.355 --> 00:05:08.641
00:05:08.641 --> 00:05:09.605
00:05:09.605 --> 00:05:18.891
00:05:18.891 --> 00:05:36.115
00:05:36.216 --> 00:05:41.666
00:05:41.666 --> 00:05:46.934
00:05:46.934 --> 00:05:50.168
00:05:50.228 --> 00:06:08.706
00:06:08.766 --> 00:06:28.514
00:06:28.514 --> 00:06:29.997
00:06:29.997 --> 00:06:44.725
00:06:44.725 --> 00:06:45.148
00:06:45.148 --> 00:06:46.053
00:06:46.053 --> 00:06:46.798
00:06:46.798 --> 00:06:48.586
00:06:48.586 --> 00:06:57.595
00:06:58.247 --> 00:06:59.040
00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:07.598
00:07:07.598 --> 00:07:25.367
00:07:25.367 --> 00:07:27.053
00:07:27.053 --> 00:07:28.218
00:07:28.218 --> 00:07:32.850
00:07:32.850 --> 00:07:43.492
00:07:43.713 --> 00:07:54.184
00:07:54.184 --> 00:07:56.850
00:07:56.850 --> 00:08:06.661
00:08:06.661 --> 00:08:13.043
00:08:13.043 --> 00:08:15.048
00:08:15.470 --> 00:08:18.184
00:08:18.184 --> 00:08:20.369
00:08:20.369 --> 00:08:38.721
00:08:38.721 --> 00:08:57.493
00:08:57.493 --> 00:09:00.789
00:09:00.789 --> 00:09:14.004
00:09:14.044 --> 00:09:26.365
00:09:27.628 --> 00:09:27.788
00:09:27.788 --> 00:09:28.350
00:09:28.350 --> 00:09:36.643
00:09:36.643 --> 00:09:47.561
00:09:47.561 --> 00:09:50.649
00:09:50.649 --> 00:10:08.035
00:10:08.035 --> 00:10:16.885
00:10:16.885 --> 00:10:23.847
00:10:24.741 --> 00:10:27.571
00:10:27.571 --> 00:10:30.182
00:10:30.182 --> 00:10:46.441
00:10:46.441 --> 00:10:52.493
00:10:52.493 --> 00:10:54.283
00:10:54.283 --> 00:11:03.168
00:11:03.168 --> 00:11:18.041
00:11:18.581 --> 00:11:45.567
00:11:45.567 --> 00:11:50.254
00:11:50.254 --> 00:12:06.701
00:12:07.303 --> 00:12:25.349
00:12:25.349 --> 00:12:27.203
00:12:27.203 --> 00:12:29.509
00:12:29.509 --> 00:12:38.044
00:12:38.967 --> 00:12:46.532
00:12:46.532 --> 00:12:50.591
00:12:50.591 --> 00:13:01.013
00:13:01.013 --> 00:13:05.441
00:13:05.441 --> 00:13:23.546
00:13:23.605 --> 00:13:26.413
00:13:26.413 --> 00:13:38.063
00:13:38.063 --> 00:13:45.134
00:13:45.134 --> 00:13:47.438
00:13:47.918 --> 00:13:50.626
00:13:50.626 --> 00:14:11.629
00:14:11.629 --> 00:14:16.070
00:14:16.070 --> 00:14:17.847
00:14:17.847 --> 00:14:19.225
00:14:19.899 --> 00:14:26.431
00:14:26.431 --> 00:14:30.908
00:14:30.908 --> 00:14:36.410
00:14:36.410 --> 00:14:51.028
00:14:51.028 --> 00:14:53.970
00:14:53.970 --> 00:15:09.961
00:15:09.961 --> 00:15:11.544
00:15:11.544 --> 00:15:18.128
00:15:18.268 --> 00:15:23.303
00:15:23.303 --> 00:15:28.251
00:15:28.251 --> 00:15:30.985
00:15:30.985 --> 00:15:32.365
00:15:32.365 --> 00:15:35.590
00:15:35.590 --> 00:15:40.471
00:15:40.471 --> 00:15:43.764
00:15:43.764 --> 00:15:49.134
00:15:49.134 --> 00:16:03.043
00:16:03.043 --> 00:16:08.467
00:16:08.467 --> 00:16:14.024
00:16:15.299 --> 00:16:17.327
00:16:17.327 --> 00:16:18.640
00:16:18.640 --> 00:16:19.961
00:16:19.961 --> 00:16:36.015
00:16:36.275 --> 00:16:37.317
00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:42.929
00:16:42.929 --> 00:16:44.774
00:16:44.774 --> 00:16:46.460
00:16:46.460 --> 00:16:49.291
00:16:49.772 --> 00:16:51.759
00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:55.958
00:16:55.958 --> 00:16:58.086
00:16:58.547 --> 00:17:03.503
00:17:03.503 --> 00:17:08.289
00:17:08.289 --> 00:17:20.207
00:17:20.207 --> 00:17:33.693
00:17:33.693 --> 00:17:44.224
00:17:44.224 --> 00:17:44.865
00:17:44.905 --> 00:18:10.240
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:24.319
00:18:25.342 --> 00:18:36.551
00:18:36.551 --> 00:18:37.519
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:58.792
00:18:59.134 --> 00:19:14.384
00:19:14.384 --> 00:19:33.453
00:19:33.453 --> 00:19:38.778
00:19:38.778 --> 00:19:42.500
00:19:42.990 --> 00:19:46.560
00:19:46.560 --> 00:20:00.443
00:20:00.443 --> 00:20:03.676
00:20:03.676 --> 00:20:03.998
00:20:03.998 --> 00:20:37.736
00:20:37.756 --> 00:20:40.684
00:20:40.724 --> 00:20:48.434
00:20:48.434 --> 00:20:58.242
00:20:58.242 --> 00:21:10.574
00:21:10.574 --> 00:21:20.949
00:21:20.949 --> 00:21:27.391
00:21:27.391 --> 00:21:38.711
00:21:39.010 --> 00:21:51.363
00:21:51.363 --> 00:21:54.919
00:21:54.919 --> 00:21:56.391
00:21:56.391 --> 00:21:57.934
00:21:57.934 --> 00:22:00.711
00:22:00.711 --> 00:22:09.698
00:22:09.778 --> 00:22:22.238
00:22:22.238 --> 00:22:27.450
00:22:27.450 --> 00:22:30.780
00:22:30.780 --> 00:22:35.582
00:22:35.582 --> 00:22:46.242
00:22:46.242 --> 00:22:51.577
00:22:51.577 --> 00:22:55.163
00:22:55.443 --> 00:22:58.556
00:22:58.556 --> 00:23:05.636
00:23:05.636 --> 00:23:13.221
00:23:13.221 --> 00:23:15.795
00:23:15.795 --> 00:23:21.078
00:23:21.078 --> 00:23:26.746
00:23:26.926 --> 00:23:27.911
00:23:27.911 --> 00:23:33.972
00:23:33.972 --> 00:23:38.378
00:23:38.378 --> 00:23:44.857
00:23:44.970 --> 00:24:06.593
00:24:07.253 --> 00:24:09.336
00:24:09.336 --> 00:24:14.303
00:24:14.303 --> 00:24:30.115
00:24:30.115 --> 00:24:35.755
00:24:35.755 --> 00:24:40.280
00:24:40.300 --> 00:24:46.369
00:24:46.369 --> 00:24:55.140
00:24:55.140 --> 00:24:56.566
00:24:56.566 --> 00:24:57.730
00:24:57.730 --> 00:24:59.036
00:24:59.036 --> 00:25:01.659
00:25:01.659 --> 00:25:04.589
00:25:04.589 --> 00:25:07.577
00:25:07.577 --> 00:25:18.074
00:25:18.094 --> 00:25:32.116
00:25:32.116 --> 00:25:48.083
00:25:48.083 --> 00:26:04.078
00:26:04.078 --> 00:26:04.981
00:26:06.171 --> 00:26:15.917
00:26:17.893 --> 00:26:18.596
00:26:18.596 --> 00:26:24.423
00:26:24.423 --> 00:26:42.059
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:47.851
00:26:47.851 --> 00:26:53.353
00:26:53.353 --> 00:27:07.238
00:27:07.238 --> 00:27:08.594
00:27:08.594 --> 00:27:11.675
00:27:12.069 --> 00:27:15.019
00:27:15.019 --> 00:27:20.219
00:27:20.219 --> 00:27:23.479
00:27:23.479 --> 00:27:30.311
00:27:30.311 --> 00:27:34.494
00:27:34.494 --> 00:27:36.556
00:27:36.556 --> 00:27:41.420
00:27:41.420 --> 00:27:45.682
00:27:45.682 --> 00:27:49.965
00:27:49.965 --> 00:27:58.958
00:27:58.958 --> 00:27:59.800
00:27:59.800 --> 00:28:03.193
00:28:03.193 --> 00:28:21.099
00:28:22.112 --> 00:28:26.001
00:28:26.001 --> 00:28:27.696
00:28:27.696 --> 00:28:31.781
00:28:31.781 --> 00:28:37.615
00:28:37.615 --> 00:28:38.835
00:28:38.835 --> 00:28:41.358
00:28:41.358 --> 00:28:45.798
00:28:45.798 --> 00:28:50.340
00:28:50.340 --> 00:28:57.092